Procrastination: The Latest STD

"Time is a girl who is more fun when she is wasted."

"Procrastinating is like a drug, in the sense that the more you do it, the more you want to do it."

If that didn't make perfect sense to you, please allow me to put it in more scientific wording:

"If 'Enjoyment' was on the X-axis and 'TimeWasted' was on the Y-axis, the function could be described as Enjoyment = TimeWasted^2

The gist of these tidbits of wisdom is this: Procrastination is exhilarating. In the words of Douglas Adams "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." I would quite agree. And yet, I often ask myself, "Why?" Why can't I manage the execution of everyday tasks? Why can I not bring myself to accomplish my academic duties on time? Why is it that I would rather watch a crappy movie with my mother than read a book? I am almost positive I would like the book better, because I really do enjoy reading, and I would rather read anything than watch "The Santa Clause 2" with my mother, any day. Still I find myself, Sunday night after Sunday night, rushing that weekend paper. Why do I stay up until two in the morning doing a handful of Calc problems I could have done faster than ice-cream melts in the microwave?

It's something I call "Slowed Tragic Decision-making", or STD for short. Allow me to explain. It is "Slowed" because it takes a lot longer to make a decision than it should. I would rather stare at a blank computer screen for ten minutes (and sometimes I do) than I would open up Word and begin typing. It is tragic because it is... very sad. It is harder for me to type that first line than it would be to remove the rusted lug-nuts from the '55 Ford. I am impaired, I have a disease. It is similar to alcoholism, in the sense that they are the only two diseases one can be ostracized for having.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have 200 pages in Faulkner and a slew of physics problems that are just waiting to be put off.