Holidays: Oct. 1st - 7th

Here at Overdue Karma, we celebrate life everyday (no, really, we do!) but here are some excuses for you to cut loose and take a day off from work this week:

October 1st:
World Vegan Day and “Homemade Cookies” Day: Factions of followers for these two holidays have clashed for ages. Grandma’s homemade cookies are bound to include fresh eggs which drive the vegans crazy! Traditionally, one would bring nice warm cookies to work for co-workers. But in this age of extreme vegetarianism, you might find yourself slapped with a lawsuit. It’s best to play it safe and celebrate these holidays at home.

October 2nd:
Name Your Car Day: A few suggestions… If it is a manly sports car, name it after your favorite babe or porn-star. Both “Electra” and “Veronica” go great for your Porsche. Old clunkers, inversely, should be named after things that are NOT attractive. “Bessie”, “Ol’ Yeller” and “Grease Hog” are all great suggestions.

October 3rd:
Captain Kangaroo Day: This is the day where we rub in our parents’ faces’ the fact that they can actually remember watching Captain Kangaroo. Try using phrases like “Hey Mom, do you remember Captain Kangaroo back in your day”, and things like “Was he before or after JFK?”, or the favorite “Did you ever see him on the Carson Show?”

October 4th:
National Golf Day: Bust out your plaid knickerbockers and get ready for fun! Golf has been entertaining rich white American men for over a century. If you are a rejected anti-socialite or superficial businessman looking to close a deal, then this day is for you!

October 5th:
Ray Kroc’s Birthday: Don’t recognize the name? Look him up! Ray drastically expanded the McDonald Corporation after 1955. His words of wisdom include "If my competitor were drowning I'd stick a hose in his mouth and turn on the water." And “I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me. You're talking about the American way -- of survival of the fittest." The second, of course, refers to his process of fattening up Americans so they can be slaughtered and ground into hamburgers.

October 6th:
Physician Assistant Day: Unless I am confusing terms, this was meant to be “Nurses Day.” If you ask me “Male Physician Assistant” sounds a lot worse than “Male Nurse.”

October 7th:
“Bald and Free” Day: This is an attempt to make the folically challenged for our population feel like they are special. Well, they are free. Free from combs and free of hair. Have fun trying to pick up babes, chrome-domes!